The Scumbug Brain

Disclaimer: 'Brain' is kinda used interchangeably with 'mind', with the operational meaning leaning towards the 'mind'. This post is meant to indicate how contradicting a mind might be, especially when criticising itself (I have no scientific evidence though).It's not well-written, but err ... bear with it, okay?

I believe that every single humans have one important organ that basically regulates and controls a lot of things happening physiologically, mentally and psychologically known as the brain (Yup, even the so-called 'no-brainers'). I also do, and probably like a lot of people, I have a pretty weird brain which generates thoughts (whether suppressible or not) in which sometimes we adhere to, felt annoyed to, or even just feeling neutral, letting the thought pass by like clouds.

Well, let me try describe my brain (therefore trying to play chess with it, too).

It seemed awkward when I'm writing this blog post with the help of the brain, the targeted party I'm going to discuss in this blog post (basically, I'm thinking about what I'm thinking, goodness gracious). First, let's dump out the anatomy of the physical brain as biology/physiology/psychology classes tend to start off from. My brain has no fixed parts of 'characters' that are 'supposed to react or think as the character is' (unlike whatever suggested in the upcoming Pixar film Inside Out). I'll just say that they're a bunch of thoughts that could be classified to certain groups. They could vary in their valence (for 'positive' or for 'negative') and their stance in a particular situation. Also, thoughts need not to be in language form, they could be in a representative feeling or something else. Some of them are of below:

1. Pride/Cocky thoughts. Basically occurs when one is reminded of past achievements, present talents and future potentials, whether from external compliments or internal reminder. For example, one may be told that one's running speed could be as comparable to as Usain Bolt (current Olympic 100 metre run record holder), and the next moment thoughts like "You should be pride of yourself. In fact, you should brag about it." This group of thoughts, if not controlled, may end up having one discriminating others while trying very hard to keep their 'image' up in the view of others.

2. Self-correcting/Guilt thoughts. The thoughts that could possibly draw one into a downward no-bottom spiral that one may end up being wasted or just quit their life on Earth. Criticism and suggestions may help one to improve oneself (or just create new stuff inspired from those comments, like The Oatmeal), however if one takes it personally/too seriously, self-improvement thoughts may end up being self-torturing.

3. Helpfully creative/Reality inappropriate thoughts. Yes, even these thoughts. Sometimes, it may seem like one has found one's eureka moment, but sometimes, one gets a whole lot of weird (as defined by the external conditions) thoughts about something that sounds inappropriate in one's living environment.

4. Other thoughts. I'm not going to elaborate much on this, because I have no idea of how should I keep on classify them as other new groups of thoughts.

As of now, I think that my brain just spotted that I'm saying bad words about it and now it is attempting to get me to sleep. I felt curious that I am kinda able to separate myself with my thoughts. I felt peculiar too when I realise that the 'separation' didn't work very well under strong feelings and emotions. Also, as I get to think of abstract stuff and try to think things from a different perspective, the brain also upgraded its screwing function. It tried to evoke strong feelings in me whenever words/images/things associated to the emotions was brought up, therefore leading me to feel the feelings fully, therefore disposing calm and rational thinking for knee-jerk reaction and thoughts (I suggest that's the mental happenings of keyboard warriors). If that wasn't bad enough, external stimulations, especially emotionally-charged ones, provided a catalyst for my brain to evoke those feelings easier than pure thoughts. I almost questioned that is the brain as synonymous as electronic gadgets ... Is a person the master of his/her mind, or the other way round.

To fight against the mind is like attempting to fight a monster in which when destroyed, could rebuild itself to become a tougher opponent to beat. Well, no wonder I found it frustrating (a bit at least) when it seemed to have planned a plan to sabotage the self (and for some reasons, I kinda allowed that). It seemed that there is no such thing as 'free will', as feelings - one of the best weapons the brain would use to fit oneself into that particular environment - will attempt to make road blocks for one to not pursue what they want to do, regardless whether it may bring benefit to the outer world or the self.

By writing on this topic I am contradicting my own self because without the brain, I would not have an idea on how to express my thoughts, which is generated by the brain (unless otherwise proven), in the form of a blog post if it weren't for my brain. Thank you brain but please don't make me call you a scumbug (scumbag + humbug) ... (brain's response: I shall do a counterargument against whatever you've written about me, as generated by me, but I ain't got time for that ...)

There you go, train of thoughts from the self, which are generated by the brain itself.

Think about it, one trying to complain about the brain using thoughts that are generated from the brain.

Brainception ...